How do I put myself first?

How do I put myself first?

I remember as a kid, having a conversation with my Mum about how we should really look after ourselves first. I can’t remember my exact words and I can’t remember her reply. But I can tell you we were in the car and I was gazing out of the passenger window thinking deep on life.

I had overheard a conversation she was having with a friend and her friend was “over” doing everything for the whole family.

My big ears, soaked in every word and in my youthful wisdom I couldn’t understand why she kept doing everything for everyone else when it clearly upset her. I told my mum in the car that the solution was easy. She should just do what she wants and everyone else could suck it up.

Like I said, I don’t remember her reply exactly but I remember the basic message.

My thoughts were self centered, and if I behaved that way no-one would like me.

I made a silent vow to myself to keep my thoughts about putting me first quiet! But even with that thought of thinking and knowing I was right,  as I grew, society would continue it’s education of making sure I knew that others needed to come first. 

And so it isn’t surprising (although it was) that in my early 30s, I realised I had become just like my Mum’s friend. I had forgotten who I was. Felt guilty as hell for doing anything for me and I was resentful and bitter underneath my happy facade.

It was  time to listen to my younger self and put me first…. So that I was whole and well and able to then (and only then) give in abundance to others.

It was time to work out who I am. Because somewhere between kids, marriage and businesses, I had become something that didn’t resemble what I thought I truly was on the inside. But even with knowing I wasn’t being my authentic self, I couldn’t tell you who that truth was. All I knew was that I wasn’t living it and I had to work it out.

This is where my daily self development practice started and evolved into Aromanosis. It allowed me to learn who I am and what is important to me. I learned about my personality, how I think and feel. What works for me and what doesn’t. I discovered gifts, shortfalls and layers upon layers waiting for me to peel back and discover what had been hidden for most of my life.

It has been the most glorious learning curve and a practice I will never leave for in it’s simplicity it has given me an abundance in return.

And it’s something that I am now so joyful to share with others in a format that everyone can access no matter their background, age, finances or time constraints. 

If you would like to learn more about it head to

Episode 37 of Purpose, Balance & Burnout also continues the conversation of putting you first.

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