Why are we all so afraid to be ourselves? This is the biggest fear I see time and time again. And I get it because I have felt it too and releasing it was both the most terrifying thing I have ever done as well as the most liberating. There is a lightness that comes about when you make a firm decision to never act in a certain way or be a certain thing for fear of someone else not approving.
I used to think I would turn into an ass-hole if I stopped caring about the approval of others. But the beautiful thing is that the exact opposite occurred as now, if I do or say something for someone else, it is purely because I want to make them feel good. I want to lift them. I want to give. It comes from a place of complete heart with no strings attached.
It is very easy to get into a cycle of resentment when we are basing our lives on the approval of others. It’s easy, when in this state, to give and then have words running through your mind about how unappreciated you are. Or perhaps you give and then you feel like you have fallen short.
One of the best lessons I learned was that you can never dance well enough to someone else’s tune so it is impossible to keep them happy no matter how hard you try. Thus you might as well give up and dance to your own tune. You will find when you do this, others are attracted to you, because ultimately we all want to feel the freedom to be ourselves.
Why are we so afraid then? Why do we feel naked? It comes down to us humans being sociable creatures. We need to feel like we belong. It is hard wired into us. The problem arises when we find ourselves in a culture or group where our true self is different from what the “norm” is. And it is easy to believe the whole world is full of people just like those surrounding you up till now.
Here is the fun part though. There are people just like you. Your crew is out there, somewhere in this world and when you embrace who you are, you will find it easier to find them. Right now, if you are dancing to someone else’s tune, if one of your true “crew” walked by, they would not recognise you as being like them.
Be brave, be bold. And step out as yourself and you will soon discover that you are not alone for long.
My challenge to you this week is to delve into who you are and ask yourself how you can be more uniquely you?